Week 6 Day 2 No internet connection

So, I have not been online for over a week, due to moving and getting the internet turned off, but now I'm back. I have missed 2 weigh ins but at the end of week 4, I lost 3.4 pounds and at the end of week 5, I've lost 2 pounds. So that is a total 21. 4 pounds in 5 weeks. I'll be back soon to check in again!

week 4 day 3

It amazes me that I just got started on a better eating plan less than a month ago and that my strength and endurance has increased. I have to be honest that I have not have one single craving for the month of August and instead of questioning why, I'll just accept it and move on. I have alloed myself to have up to 2 sweat treats a week (smart ones cookie dough ice cream). I ate one last night, but I honestly could have done without it and the 170 additional calories.

Nothing too exciting going on in my life. School starts soon and I'm packing, because I have to be out by the 20th of the month and I'm still not sure where I want to move to yet. I really don't want to be the 30 year old that moves back in with my mom, but I'll save so much money while I finish my program in Nutrition. Then I'll be able to do my dietetic intership and not worry about finances as much. Oh well, 2 weeks to go before that decision has to be made.

Last week, my calories were below what they should have been, unintentionally, but I was just not hungry, so I did not eat. But I had problems getting out there for my second evening walk. This week, I'm increasing my calories even though I may not lose weight, but I knowthat my body needs it and will feel and operate better. So this weeks focus is hitting between 1200 and 1500 calories and doing exercises to strengthen my core. I'll be back to check in later in the week.

week 3 day 7 Loving myself as I am

I've been walking a lot this last week and all of the sweat and laundry that I did was so worth it because I lost 6.6 pounds, that's right, I'll say it again, almost 7 pounds during week 3, which is amazing for me. I've lost 16.2 pounds in less than 3 weeks and I'm eating right and exercising, no special tricks or secrets. I don't think I've ever lost that much weight in week 3 even when I had a trainer working me out 5 days a week.

So now I need to get past the celebrating and getting to the real reason that I decided to post something tonight. In the past, I've been really good about pretending that everything is great in my life but on the inside I'm so sad, miserable, and upset. Over the past 4 years, I've been a shrinking violet and I don't like that, my personality is bubbly and loving and fun, but I've missed her and I want her back. The part that comes with losing weight is the emotional baggage that has to come off as the pounds come off or else I'll end up in the same place again and that is just not going to happen.

I don't want to be numb from life anymore. I want to live my life now, not wait until I reach some weight loss goal before I allow myself to have fun. when I look at it that way, that's punishment, and it means that I don't think I deserve anything better right now. I've got to change that way of thinking and I think the way to do that is to just go all out. I have to set some goals over the next few days or weeks so that I can make sure I get myself out of the house and stop living my life in isolation. I deserve to be happy now, waiting to reach some type of milestone is obsurd and I won't entertain that.

week 3 day 2 Flipping the script

Today was an awesome day and I know that this week is going to be awesome as well. I went walking 2 times, for a total of 90 minutes!!! I could have gone longer, but it was getting dark and I knew I had to get home soon. I started walking at the end of June, but I did not get started seriously walking until 2 weeks ago and I'm just amazed at home my body is adjusting to the exercise.

Today is the second day of my new phase of diet, and it will last the entire month of August. There is not room for mistakes in this phase, because I need to make sure I have my routine down so this will be the last "diet" that I have to go on. I don't get any free days or meals this month, but I have included little snacks and treats that will keep me going strong! This phase will have a heck of a lot more exercise than I'm used to doing, but I know my heart needs it and it will be good for destroying that extrat fat!

If anybody can tell me how to post the information from my bodybugg onto the blog, PLEASE, let me know.

week 2 day 6 - what would you change about yourself?

To start off, I'll have to rejoice the fact that despite the several mishaps that I had this week, I lost 4.4 more pounds, bringing the total to 9.6 pounds!!! YAH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

A few days ago, I was on the phone with someone and he asked me what are the things that I wish I could change about myself and after about 3 minutes I told him that I needed to do some self reflection and would have to get back to him. Now a few days later, I'm wondering why I stalled when answering that question. My obvious weaknesses are that I feel like I have no self-control, I'm unorganized, and I'm scared. I'm scared to succeed, I'm scared to fail, I'm scared to tell the truth, I'm scared to lie, I'm scared that someone will get too close to me and then they'll not like me, or worse they will actually like me and I will really have to get to the root of why I let myself get to 300 pounds and to do something about it.



For awhile I have avoided situations where I meet new people or have to see people that I've known for years because of fear that they will judge me, but what I'm understanding is that it is bad of me to punish myself by avoiding any type of interaction. I am still the same person on the inside when I weighed 150 pounds that I am right now, the only thing that should have changed is the package that my personality comes in. So I will work on loving me that I see right now, so that as I get halthier I will love me even more.

week 2 day 5 - Attack of the KitKat

Thursday started out great, until early evening, when I had exercised away all of the calories that I had eaten. The good news is that I found out that eating every 2 and a half hours keeps my hunger at bay so I'm less likely to have a snack attack. The bad news is that I did not realize this until I'd had SEVERAL mini KitKat's.

Apparently it wasn't as bad as I thought it was because I had to weigh myself and I discovered that I had actually lost a little weight. I guess the low calories from my healthy salad from lunch and a small breakfast really helped to balance out my KitKat attack. Good things these cravings are coming to an end soon, but in the meanwhile, I'm happy for small successes!!

week2 day 2

Today started out just ok. Its my great TOM, so I didn't want to go walking, but I did for 32 minutes and I did well until it was evening, because I got a craving for pizza, chips, and snickers, so I had exactly that. but I got small serving instead of the family size that I would typically get. I'm not going to beat myself up about it though, because in the first 2 weeks of my plan I am allowed to make mistakes. Better now than later.