It has been a long time

It has been such a long time since I posted anything. I am nowhere near the end of my journey, but I started school and really just had to put all of my focus on school. I have one more semester until I finish my classes. I'm becoming a dietitian, but one of my biggest concerns has been that I feel like I need to have everything together before I can be successful in my career.

Fortunately, I have not gained much weight, it just seems like my body proportions have redistributed. I have decided to go to youtube.com for support and accountability, so I'll be refocusing my efforts in 2010. WOW, I can't believe that we will be in a new decade in just a few days. But I'll be back and need support from you guys to stay focused.

Talk to you in a few days!
Smooches!!

Week 6 Day 2 No internet connection

So, I have not been online for over a week, due to moving and getting the internet turned off, but now I'm back. I have missed 2 weigh ins but at the end of week 4, I lost 3.4 pounds and at the end of week 5, I've lost 2 pounds. So that is a total 21. 4 pounds in 5 weeks. I'll be back soon to check in again!

week 4 day 3

It amazes me that I just got started on a better eating plan less than a month ago and that my strength and endurance has increased. I have to be honest that I have not have one single craving for the month of August and instead of questioning why, I'll just accept it and move on. I have alloed myself to have up to 2 sweat treats a week (smart ones cookie dough ice cream). I ate one last night, but I honestly could have done without it and the 170 additional calories.

Nothing too exciting going on in my life. School starts soon and I'm packing, because I have to be out by the 20th of the month and I'm still not sure where I want to move to yet. I really don't want to be the 30 year old that moves back in with my mom, but I'll save so much money while I finish my program in Nutrition. Then I'll be able to do my dietetic intership and not worry about finances as much. Oh well, 2 weeks to go before that decision has to be made.

Last week, my calories were below what they should have been, unintentionally, but I was just not hungry, so I did not eat. But I had problems getting out there for my second evening walk. This week, I'm increasing my calories even though I may not lose weight, but I knowthat my body needs it and will feel and operate better. So this weeks focus is hitting between 1200 and 1500 calories and doing exercises to strengthen my core. I'll be back to check in later in the week.

week 3 day 7 Loving myself as I am

I've been walking a lot this last week and all of the sweat and laundry that I did was so worth it because I lost 6.6 pounds, that's right, I'll say it again, almost 7 pounds during week 3, which is amazing for me. I've lost 16.2 pounds in less than 3 weeks and I'm eating right and exercising, no special tricks or secrets. I don't think I've ever lost that much weight in week 3 even when I had a trainer working me out 5 days a week.

So now I need to get past the celebrating and getting to the real reason that I decided to post something tonight. In the past, I've been really good about pretending that everything is great in my life but on the inside I'm so sad, miserable, and upset. Over the past 4 years, I've been a shrinking violet and I don't like that, my personality is bubbly and loving and fun, but I've missed her and I want her back. The part that comes with losing weight is the emotional baggage that has to come off as the pounds come off or else I'll end up in the same place again and that is just not going to happen.

I don't want to be numb from life anymore. I want to live my life now, not wait until I reach some weight loss goal before I allow myself to have fun. when I look at it that way, that's punishment, and it means that I don't think I deserve anything better right now. I've got to change that way of thinking and I think the way to do that is to just go all out. I have to set some goals over the next few days or weeks so that I can make sure I get myself out of the house and stop living my life in isolation. I deserve to be happy now, waiting to reach some type of milestone is obsurd and I won't entertain that.

week 3 day 2 Flipping the script

Today was an awesome day and I know that this week is going to be awesome as well. I went walking 2 times, for a total of 90 minutes!!! I could have gone longer, but it was getting dark and I knew I had to get home soon. I started walking at the end of June, but I did not get started seriously walking until 2 weeks ago and I'm just amazed at home my body is adjusting to the exercise.

Today is the second day of my new phase of diet, and it will last the entire month of August. There is not room for mistakes in this phase, because I need to make sure I have my routine down so this will be the last "diet" that I have to go on. I don't get any free days or meals this month, but I have included little snacks and treats that will keep me going strong! This phase will have a heck of a lot more exercise than I'm used to doing, but I know my heart needs it and it will be good for destroying that extrat fat!

If anybody can tell me how to post the information from my bodybugg onto the blog, PLEASE, let me know.

week 2 day 6 - what would you change about yourself?

To start off, I'll have to rejoice the fact that despite the several mishaps that I had this week, I lost 4.4 more pounds, bringing the total to 9.6 pounds!!! YAH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

A few days ago, I was on the phone with someone and he asked me what are the things that I wish I could change about myself and after about 3 minutes I told him that I needed to do some self reflection and would have to get back to him. Now a few days later, I'm wondering why I stalled when answering that question. My obvious weaknesses are that I feel like I have no self-control, I'm unorganized, and I'm scared. I'm scared to succeed, I'm scared to fail, I'm scared to tell the truth, I'm scared to lie, I'm scared that someone will get too close to me and then they'll not like me, or worse they will actually like me and I will really have to get to the root of why I let myself get to 300 pounds and to do something about it.



For awhile I have avoided situations where I meet new people or have to see people that I've known for years because of fear that they will judge me, but what I'm understanding is that it is bad of me to punish myself by avoiding any type of interaction. I am still the same person on the inside when I weighed 150 pounds that I am right now, the only thing that should have changed is the package that my personality comes in. So I will work on loving me that I see right now, so that as I get halthier I will love me even more.

week 2 day 5 - Attack of the KitKat

Thursday started out great, until early evening, when I had exercised away all of the calories that I had eaten. The good news is that I found out that eating every 2 and a half hours keeps my hunger at bay so I'm less likely to have a snack attack. The bad news is that I did not realize this until I'd had SEVERAL mini KitKat's.

Apparently it wasn't as bad as I thought it was because I had to weigh myself and I discovered that I had actually lost a little weight. I guess the low calories from my healthy salad from lunch and a small breakfast really helped to balance out my KitKat attack. Good things these cravings are coming to an end soon, but in the meanwhile, I'm happy for small successes!!

week2 day 2

Today started out just ok. Its my great TOM, so I didn't want to go walking, but I did for 32 minutes and I did well until it was evening, because I got a craving for pizza, chips, and snickers, so I had exactly that. but I got small serving instead of the family size that I would typically get. I'm not going to beat myself up about it though, because in the first 2 weeks of my plan I am allowed to make mistakes. Better now than later.

Week 2 Day 1 - Gaining momentum

I made it successfully over the weekend!! I weighed myself on Saturday morning and I had lost 5.2 pounds, so I was very excited about that because I was not even a perfect plan follower. My nephews 15th birthday was Saturday and I did eat cake, but only one slice and on Sunday I was back on my plan.

I'm up to walking 30 minutes and I'll add 2 more minutes everyday, so by the end of only 4 weeks of following my program I'll be able to walk 60 minutes at a time.

My meal plan has been great and I've been eating under 1500 calories, and including many more fruits and vegetables in my meal plan. So, I'll check in tomorrow and this week I'll focus on putting my bodybugg snapshots online.

day 5 cooking for 1

Today was a really productive day! But unfortunately there were still things left on my to do. I am so into planning right now, its the greatest thing! I've taken my measurements, recorded a video, and planned a menu, in addition to a few other things I needed to do around the house.

But my concern of the day is how do I plan and cook for one without spending a lot of money or wasting food. I don't want to get all of these fancy recipes that make 6 servings! There is no way that I'm going to eat leftovers that many days, nor am I going to put it in the freezer, because most food does not taste the same to me after its been frozen. I've been looking for cookbooks that guide a single person on preparation but nothing good so far. If anyone has any suggestions, PLEASE let me know ASAP!!!
Have a happy weekend, I know for sure I'll be back Monday:)

Day 3 who moved my cheese

So, I'm trucking along and on track for my week 1. I went to Zumba today and sweated like a piglette, but I burned 700 calories according to my BodyBugg!!!!!!! And this morning, I walked 35 minutes, and my caloric intake was a little over 1800. I understand that one of my issues is cheese and by eating too much of it, I take in too much sodium. As I was at the grocery store yestery, I bought sliced cheese, shredded cheese and string cheese. So my goal next week will be to look for alternative for cheese. But this week, my main focus is to get more fruits and veggies, log my food, and walk at least 20 minutes. So far, so good:)

Day 2 Ring the Alarm

Last night I made a schedule for the things that I wanted/needed to get done today and then as the day progressed, I made what I called my actual schedule, because as we know life happens. My schedule was off A LOT, but over the weekend, I am going to evaluate my few day of scheduling and see if I can come up with a good schedule that actually works for me. This is all an attempt to be more productive and get things on track. It seems that I have a habbit of starting something and not finishing it, but I'm going to keep trying to break that habbit day by day. I think it may come from being confident in what you are doing, because if you are confident, then there is no reason to second guess yourself!

So, on with the title for today.. I decided that I want to eat something every 2 and a half hours, and since I will have trouble remembering to do so, I came up with this brilliant idea to have an alarm go off on my phone every time I need to eat. I'm sure this will get annoying, but the goal here is to get into a routine of doing things. Today, I did well with eating frequently, so I can't wait to see what the next few days will hold.

I'm calling this phase of my plan setting the tone, because I'm trying to get things figured out, you can't just jump right into a weight reduction plan and expect to stick to it if you don't give yourself room to grow. So the goal I've set for myself is to actually log calories, increase fruits and vegetables in my diet and exercise at least 20 minutes for 4 days a week. I'm also making a list of foods that I like to eat, so I can find alternatives and be prepared when those cravings hit. wish me luck:)

July 20th A new day

It's Tuesday, and I have a lot of decisions to make, but that seems to be the story of my life right now. On Friday, I was supposed to sign my new lease for 7 months in an apartment that I really don't like. 4 days have passed and I still have not signed it. why? well, I'm not so sure I want to live here. I plan to take classes in nutrition in the fall and I can live at home for free and save a lot of money! But I would be giving up my independence, but I am starting to dislike living by myself. So, by 6pm, I'm going to the office and letting them know what my decision is going to be, and probably pack up and be out of here in the next few days.

Next on the agenda is to plan my meals for the entire week. I eat a lot of fast food and it doesn't really hit my taste buds, so I'm going to write down the foods that I like to eat and start out with 2 weeks of meals, so that I will have a plan. I did have a smoothie this morning, followed by my morning walk, then some oatmeal w/ raisins and sugar and 2 sausages. So far, so good!