Now tracking with my Bodybugg - from Jan. 25, 2010

I have finally figured out how to capture my bodybugg image so that I can post it online. Here goes. This first one is from Monday. As you can see, I don't log my calories into their system, because it takes a little too long. I am currently supposed to be buring 3400 calories daily, but I did only 3067 on this day. My digital display rolled into the river, so I am awaiting the new one, because that really helps me to stay on track with my activity level.

week 3 day 7 Loving myself as I am

I've been walking a lot this last week and all of the sweat and laundry that I did was so worth it because I lost 6.6 pounds, that's right, I'll say it again, almost 7 pounds during week 3, which is amazing for me. I've lost 16.2 pounds in less than 3 weeks and I'm eating right and exercising, no special tricks or secrets. I don't think I've ever lost that much weight in week 3 even when I had a trainer working me out 5 days a week.

So now I need to get past the celebrating and getting to the real reason that I decided to post something tonight. In the past, I've been really good about pretending that everything is great in my life but on the inside I'm so sad, miserable, and upset. Over the past 4 years, I've been a shrinking violet and I don't like that, my personality is bubbly and loving and fun, but I've missed her and I want her back. The part that comes with losing weight is the emotional baggage that has to come off as the pounds come off or else I'll end up in the same place again and that is just not going to happen.

I don't want to be numb from life anymore. I want to live my life now, not wait until I reach some weight loss goal before I allow myself to have fun. when I look at it that way, that's punishment, and it means that I don't think I deserve anything better right now. I've got to change that way of thinking and I think the way to do that is to just go all out. I have to set some goals over the next few days or weeks so that I can make sure I get myself out of the house and stop living my life in isolation. I deserve to be happy now, waiting to reach some type of milestone is obsurd and I won't entertain that.

week 2 day 6 - what would you change about yourself?

To start off, I'll have to rejoice the fact that despite the several mishaps that I had this week, I lost 4.4 more pounds, bringing the total to 9.6 pounds!!! YAH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

A few days ago, I was on the phone with someone and he asked me what are the things that I wish I could change about myself and after about 3 minutes I told him that I needed to do some self reflection and would have to get back to him. Now a few days later, I'm wondering why I stalled when answering that question. My obvious weaknesses are that I feel like I have no self-control, I'm unorganized, and I'm scared. I'm scared to succeed, I'm scared to fail, I'm scared to tell the truth, I'm scared to lie, I'm scared that someone will get too close to me and then they'll not like me, or worse they will actually like me and I will really have to get to the root of why I let myself get to 300 pounds and to do something about it.



For awhile I have avoided situations where I meet new people or have to see people that I've known for years because of fear that they will judge me, but what I'm understanding is that it is bad of me to punish myself by avoiding any type of interaction. I am still the same person on the inside when I weighed 150 pounds that I am right now, the only thing that should have changed is the package that my personality comes in. So I will work on loving me that I see right now, so that as I get halthier I will love me even more.

Week 2 Day 1 - Gaining momentum

I made it successfully over the weekend!! I weighed myself on Saturday morning and I had lost 5.2 pounds, so I was very excited about that because I was not even a perfect plan follower. My nephews 15th birthday was Saturday and I did eat cake, but only one slice and on Sunday I was back on my plan.

I'm up to walking 30 minutes and I'll add 2 more minutes everyday, so by the end of only 4 weeks of following my program I'll be able to walk 60 minutes at a time.

My meal plan has been great and I've been eating under 1500 calories, and including many more fruits and vegetables in my meal plan. So, I'll check in tomorrow and this week I'll focus on putting my bodybugg snapshots online.

Day 2 Ring the Alarm

Last night I made a schedule for the things that I wanted/needed to get done today and then as the day progressed, I made what I called my actual schedule, because as we know life happens. My schedule was off A LOT, but over the weekend, I am going to evaluate my few day of scheduling and see if I can come up with a good schedule that actually works for me. This is all an attempt to be more productive and get things on track. It seems that I have a habbit of starting something and not finishing it, but I'm going to keep trying to break that habbit day by day. I think it may come from being confident in what you are doing, because if you are confident, then there is no reason to second guess yourself!

So, on with the title for today.. I decided that I want to eat something every 2 and a half hours, and since I will have trouble remembering to do so, I came up with this brilliant idea to have an alarm go off on my phone every time I need to eat. I'm sure this will get annoying, but the goal here is to get into a routine of doing things. Today, I did well with eating frequently, so I can't wait to see what the next few days will hold.

I'm calling this phase of my plan setting the tone, because I'm trying to get things figured out, you can't just jump right into a weight reduction plan and expect to stick to it if you don't give yourself room to grow. So the goal I've set for myself is to actually log calories, increase fruits and vegetables in my diet and exercise at least 20 minutes for 4 days a week. I'm also making a list of foods that I like to eat, so I can find alternatives and be prepared when those cravings hit. wish me luck:)

July 20th A new day

It's Tuesday, and I have a lot of decisions to make, but that seems to be the story of my life right now. On Friday, I was supposed to sign my new lease for 7 months in an apartment that I really don't like. 4 days have passed and I still have not signed it. why? well, I'm not so sure I want to live here. I plan to take classes in nutrition in the fall and I can live at home for free and save a lot of money! But I would be giving up my independence, but I am starting to dislike living by myself. So, by 6pm, I'm going to the office and letting them know what my decision is going to be, and probably pack up and be out of here in the next few days.

Next on the agenda is to plan my meals for the entire week. I eat a lot of fast food and it doesn't really hit my taste buds, so I'm going to write down the foods that I like to eat and start out with 2 weeks of meals, so that I will have a plan. I did have a smoothie this morning, followed by my morning walk, then some oatmeal w/ raisins and sugar and 2 sausages. So far, so good!