To start off, I'll have to rejoice the fact that despite the several mishaps that I had this week, I lost 4.4 more pounds, bringing the total to 9.6 pounds!!! YAH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
A few days ago, I was on the phone with someone and he asked me what are the things that I wish I could change about myself and after about 3 minutes I told him that I needed to do some self reflection and would have to get back to him. Now a few days later, I'm wondering why I stalled when answering that question. My obvious weaknesses are that I feel like I have no self-control, I'm unorganized, and I'm scared. I'm scared to succeed, I'm scared to fail, I'm scared to tell the truth, I'm scared to lie, I'm scared that someone will get too close to me and then they'll not like me, or worse they will actually like me and I will really have to get to the root of why I let myself get to 300 pounds and to do something about it.
For awhile I have avoided situations where I meet new people or have to see people that I've known for years because of fear that they will judge me, but what I'm understanding is that it is bad of me to punish myself by avoiding any type of interaction. I am still the same person on the inside when I weighed 150 pounds that I am right now, the only thing that should have changed is the package that my personality comes in. So I will work on loving me that I see right now, so that as I get halthier I will love me even more.
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I understand. I am scared to run into people I haven't seen in a while. We just have to remember that we all have our battles.
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